


Another Secret?

by Impala_Cherry_Trickster



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Boys Being Boys, Canon Era, Confused Merlin (Merlin), Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Female Merlin (Merlin), First Time, Gwaine Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Lancelot is a good bro, Magic Revealed, Pining Gwaine (Merlin), Pining Merlin (Merlin), Protective Knights (Merlin), Secrets, Sex Talk, Taverns, Virgin Merlin (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:22:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25218466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala_Cherry_Trickster/pseuds/Impala_Cherry_Trickster
Summary: Merlin has to keep this secret, otherwise she'd never be allowed to sit in a Tavern with the Knights of Camelot.
Relationships: Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 58
Kudos: 705
Collections: favorite Merlin fics (Luciferskitten_Arthursprincess)





	1. The Secret

‘Oh come on, you’ve put your cock in prettier things.’ Merlin choked on her drink, only just managing to keep hold of her dignity as Leon slapped her on the back. Looking across to where Elyan was trying to seduce the barmaid, she forced the colour away from her cheeks. This was a perfectly reasonable conversation to have amongst men.

‘You’ve had one too many drinks.’ Elyan slurred in reply to Gwaine’s comment, but his eyes were drifting back to the woman. Merlin eyed her up as well, wondering what exactly the appeal was. She was curvy, yes. A low-cut dress with short sleeves, sucked in at the waist to show of large hips. Merlin didn’t miss the way the Knights ogled her, even Arthur was staring as she bent down to place a mug on the table of one of the customers.

‘So have you, if you think she’s going to bed you.’ Arthur teased his Knight, also slightly too many glasses of wine in his system. They were away from Camelot, having a well-earned break with Morgana to rule over the Kingdom in their absence. That should have made everything nice and easy, but Merlin hadn't expected this crude talk. She usually left well before it, fearful of what exactly they might figure out if she stayed.

Like the fact she was a woman. Which was a secret she had to keep, almost as dangerous as her Magic. The King would never forgive her for the lie she had wrapped herself up in, for the truth she’d kept hidden. To begin with, it had just been a precaution. Travelling alone was a bad idea, but it would be fatal for a woman. Her Mum had the idea to crop her hair, to dress her as a boy as Merlin had during her childhood years. Wearing Will’s clothes and running after him, trying to be something she wasn’t.

‘It’s been ages since I’ve had a woman to warm my bed.’ Elyan grumbled, finishing his drink and letting his gaze drop low when the woman came across to pick up the empty mugs. Merlin watched Elyan’s smile, the charm he applied and the flirtation that seemed to come naturally to each of the Knights. Merlin couldn’t help but wonder how it felt, to have that kind of attention directed at you.

Before she could help herself, her gaze had drifted to Gwaine. There was very little about him that Merlin could pick fault with: terrific hair, stunning eyes and a smile that always made her heart pick up. Not that she could ever act on it, but it was nice to watch sometimes. Always when she knew he wouldn’t suspect her, like when he was training. It was easy to pretend to be interested in her polishing, rather than the handsome display of masculinity in front.

‘What I’d do to a woman like that.’ Leon agreed, while Merlin continued to sip at her drink. Strangely, Gwaine wasn’t joining in with the usual flirting.

‘Finish within seconds?’ That had all the group laughing, apart from the Witch, who blinked and tried to comprehend what he meant.

‘I could spend hours with my head between those thighs.’ Elyan’s words had the others practically salivating. Merlin decided she’d had one too many drinks, because the words spilled out before she could even hope to stop them.

‘Why would you do that?’ Heads turned in her direction, laughter turning into confusion.

‘Merlin, don’t tell us you’ve never tasted a woman’s cunny before!’ The word had her wincing, she hated the term. Especially when thrown around like it was now, the Witch blushing darkly as she tried to figure out why anybody would want to taste such a thing. Unfortunately, her naivety was proving hilarious, the men all laughing. A hand clapped down on his shoulder, Elyan grinning all the way to his ears.

‘It’s the best way of making a woman scream.’ It was accompanied with a wink, which Merlin didn’t find that helpful in trying to understand the action. Leon joined in, loosened by the wine and the chatty atmosphere.

‘It’s highly effective, a lot of tongue, a little bit of coaxing.’ Leon’s words were accompanied by Lancelot shaking his head in amusement. Gwaine was still drinking, staring at the bottom of his mug like it might save him from this moment.

‘You can’t just take pleasure from a woman, Merlin. Women have to have fun somehow.’ The offhand sexism was entirely expected, especially coming from Arthur. The King was looking incredibly pleased with his words, whereas Merlin was beginning to wish she had stayed at the Inn they had found.

‘Like when a woman takes you in her mouth, you return the favour.’ Percival added helpfully. Merlin halted at that, having no idea why anyone would do that either. Will had told her that it might feel good, some odd childhood fumbling that never felt anything other than awkward telling her that it was better if she just avoided such encounters.

‘Merls, you have slept with someone, right?’ Gwaine’s first time speaking, and it was to embarrass Merlin further. She tried to stutter out something lame, an excuse for why she had never so much as kissed a man properly. She supposed Freya didn’t really count, the kiss had been Merlin trying something to settle her curiosity on whether she could fully act the part of a male.

‘You’re a virgin.’ Arthur cackled in delight, while Leon ruffled his hair. The Witch had decided she would rather curl up and die than continue this conversation, so thoroughly out of depth that it was shameful.

‘Haven’t you found a girl desperate enough to sleep with you?’ Arthur joked again, the teasing hitting something sensitive in her.

‘What’s your type? Curvy? Clumsy?’ Elyan prompted, while Merlin scrambled for some lame excuse.

‘Men?’ Percival asked casually, and Merlin choked on her drink once more. How could she ever explain this to them? They thought her a boy, one of them.

‘Not that there’s anything wrong with that.’ Gwaine supplied, like he was daring them to argue.

‘Just because you enjoy buggery.’ Arthur muttered, before he was nudged by Lancelot.

‘Buggery?’ Merlin questioned, only to receive amused smiles from those around.

‘A man fucking another man.’ She needed to find a convenient excuse to get out of this Tavern. Quickly, as well, because she was beginning to feel rather hot.

‘Take it you don’t do that either.’ Leon said with a laugh, before the barmaid was back. She handed a mug to each of them, bending low enough to reveal the curve of her chest. She did admire it for a moment, wondered if she could do such a thing if she didn’t wear the bandages to keep her chest hidden. Her hair would cover them, that was for sure. Under the protection spell she had weaved, her hair appeared short.

‘We should get you some experience!’ Merlin zoned out on what the others were doing, focused instead on Gwaine. He was handsome all the time, but there was something about catching him unaware that had her chest tightening. He looked to be deep in thought, barely pausing from the drink, apart from to lick a stray drop from his lips.

She’d definitely had too much to drink. Enough that she was beginning to think of all the ways she could admit her actual self to the man opposite, to tell the truth.

Then came the panic. The way her chest began to tighten, the bandages around it rubbing painfully against her skin. The faster she breathed, the worse it became, especially when Elyan dared Arthur to go and call a woman across for Merlin.

She stood up sharply, ran from the Tavern and hoped her clumsy legs held her. They did, all the way out of the Village, towards the treeline and somewhere away from the danger. The further she got, the more she was tempted to loosen the bindings that kept her as Arthur’s manservant.

The world began to get hazy, a blur crossing her mind as she stumbled, knees hitting the mossy floor. Her chest moved so quickly she could practically see it rising and falling, the catch where her ribs ached and throat burned.

Then, just like that, there was a hand grounding her. Someone was looking to her, Gwaine, her mind told her. She tried to explain what she needed, tugged and grasped at her shirt as he spoke, before Merlin realised that if she didn’t get control of herself soon, her Magic would try and make up for the danger.

When it came to which secret she preferred to be known, she chose the one that wasn’t quite illegal. Yanking her shirt hard enough that it came off, the neckerchief staying in place and Gwaine’s eyes drifting to the bandages.

It took him only a moment to understand, before the Knight retrieved a knife from his boot and sliced cleanly through them.

Air rushed in, Merlin flopping down to her back and grasping to keep the bandages preserving her modesty.

It took a while for it to work, Gwaine’s hand resting over her wrist and keeping her in place, grounding her.

‘Merls?’ She didn’t know if she could look at him. When she finally dared to, the Knight was looking at the ripped bandages. When he caught her staring at him, he returned her shirt and then turned around briefly.

Losing the bandages was a shame, but she had spare. The tunic would be loose enough to give some space to hide her curves, for now.

‘Sorry. Gods, I’m so sorry.’ It was true, she was.

‘Don’t apologise.’

‘I lied to you. To all of you.’ Gwaine was studying her, from the cropped hair to her cheekbones, down to her collarbone. It skipped over her chest, down to her gangly limbs.

‘Probably why you didn’t tell me about your Magic. Fear of being judged.’

**

Gwaine watched as her eyes widened, as the blood rushed from her face once more. He didn’t hesitate to take her hand in his, to soothe her skin with his thumb.

‘I’m not leaving.’ It was a promise, to someone he considered family. She looked like a startled doe, large eyes and a worried expression, ready to flee if she had to. But Gwaine had already known her secret, had kept it safe from the moment he found out. Well, he had known about the Magic. The part about her actually being a girl…

‘Would… do you want to be a man?’ He wasn’t sure how to respond to this bit. Society norms told him that Merlin should be disgraced just for pretending to be something she wasn’t, but he couldn’t believe that the sorcerer deserved that.

‘No! No, I just… I like being the King’s manservant. I like being treated like one of you.’ The bandages were taken out from under her shirt, abandoned now the tunic covered her skin.

‘Merlin, you’re one of us. Male, female, sorcerer or just an ordinary manservant.’ He knew the others wouldn’t act differently. Well, maybe a little. No more crude talk about the women they bedded. No wonder Merlin looked so confused, stuck living a lie in a body she was so unsure about.

‘Thank you.’ Whispered out, before Merlin hesitantly looked up at him.

‘Can I show you something?’ Magic? Gwaine nodded so quickly that his head spun, slightly too much alcohol.

Alcohol he’d been drinking because his infatuation with Merlin had quickly expanded to something dangerously close to love.

‘Please.’ He answered, her eyes widening, before they flashed bright golden.

Cropped, raven hair slowly began to grow, until she was surrounded by a messy mane of curls. Magic, used to hide her true appearance. Suddenly the cheekbones were even more pronounced, a sharp jawline and a framed face, and Gwaine realised he had reached out before he could stop himself.

‘You’re beautiful.’ He didn’t mean to utter the words aloud, but from the smile on Merlin’s face, maybe it was about time someone started to compliment her.

‘Gwaine, I couldn’t ask you to possibly keep this secret, your loyalty…’

‘Lies with you, Merlin. Always.’ Merlin gasped, before she smiled. Her gaze flicked to his lips for just an instant, so quickly he almost dismissed it, before she leant in to peck his cheek.

‘I couldn’t ask for a better… friend.’ The end word seemed wrong, for whatever was happening between them. Gwaine didn’t want this to end, wanted to stay in the forest until the sun rose and they could move on. Didn’t want to think about the fact that she would probably share a room with Arthur tonight, would lie on the cold floor rather than in a warm bed. She deserved so much more than this lie, and Gwaine would give it to her.

It would take time, determination to show her just how much she deserved, but he had nothing else to focus his attention on.

‘Neither could I.’


	2. Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff, some smut, some crack at the end

She didn’t return to Arthur’s room. Gwaine fought to keep the smile off his face, when Merlin asked if she could stay in his room for the night. He didn’t want to presume anything, unlocked his room where he’d stripped off his armour earlier. Merlin stepped in, before pausing awkwardly.

‘I’m alright on the floor, I…’

‘Don’t even think about it. The bed’s plenty big enough.’ He then regretted it, wondered if he was overstepping with whatever had just happened between them. Her eyes widened, before a smile crossed her face.

‘Are you going to use the tub?’ Right, he’d been planning on having a bath. Now, however, there was a woman in the room.

The moment he thought about that sentence, he remembered exactly what Merlin’s job entailed. All the times she had to have bathed Arthur, without even faltering.

‘You’re not a servant with me, Merls.’ He complained, but the girl just laughed. Her eyes flashed golden again, a thing he would never get used to, the tub by the window filling quickly. Steam rose, telling him it would be the perfect temperature, far better than he was used to. Merlin moved across to where his clothes were strewn about on the floor, before looking to him.

‘I can give you some privacy, if you want.’ Whatever was happening between them, it was a thing he knew neither of them could comprehend. Gwaine was used to being the rebel, to acting the drunken fool that was the joke of the group. And Merlin, she was used to living a lie.

‘It’s fine, gives me an excuse to show off my muscles.’ He winked at her, feeling proud when her head ducked and her cheeks dusted with red. Her hair was still long, the tunic hanging from her form in a way that was awkward, but Gwaine had been the one to collect her stuff. She hadn't dared run into Arthur like that, which was understandable.

Now, as she turned her back to him and sorted through her items, he stripped down. It was slightly odd, to think about the fact that she was a woman, but he knew it shouldn’t change anything. That if he had felt comfortable doing so around her when he thought her a boy, then this was no different. Merlin wasn’t weak, she certainly campaigned for women to be valued just as much as men.

The water was perfect. Steaming hot and soothing the ache in his muscles. He must have made a sound, for Merlin was laughing softly as he slipped further under.

‘Don’t you dare.’ He grumbled when she reached for his clothes, before she raised an eyebrow at him.

‘Just because I’m picking them up doesn’t mean I’m doing so as a servant. Besides, they stink.’ That had him laughing, watching as she muttered a couple of words under her breath. Suddenly, the room was alight with Magic. The candles flicked to life, the clothes began to fold themselves neatly, and Gwaine’s armour stacked itself back up.

‘Now that is what I call productivity.’ Gwaine stated, Merlin’s lips quirking up yet again.

‘I’m stealing the bath after you.’ A simple fact, which had the Knight relaxing back and looking across to her.

‘If you can convince me out of it.’

A comfortable silence filled the room, only replaced by the sound of splashing water or Merlin’s Magic. Gwaine washed his hair, scrubbed at the sweaty mess of his body and watched as Merlin settled down on the bed, flicking through what he presumed to be a spellbook. He didn’t question where it had appeared from, just found himself happy with how settled she was.

‘You know that conversation earlier?’ Merlin cut in, looking slightly nervous as she did so. Gwaine dunked his head back under the water, then rose up to stare at her.

‘Which one?’

‘The one in the Tavern.’ Even he winced. Amongst Knights, there was very little they didn’t discuss. It was perfectly normal for them to talk about such things, like Elyan’s ogling of the barmaid. But for Merlin, hearing women being talked about in that manner?

‘What about it?’ She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, enough so that he could see her flush spread all the way across her complexion.

‘Does that really… happen?’ She’d looked so naïve at that point, confused in a way that had surprised him. Merlin surely noticed that she managed to attract attention, but then again, maybe she didn’t. Maybe she was so focused on the fact that she wasn’t quite who she wanted to be.

‘Yes. Especially in places like that. I don’t expect noble ladies act like that very often.’ He conceded. Noble ladies had never been his type, they were far too prim and proper. The only one that he’d ever been impressed by was Morgana, but she definitely wasn’t his type.

‘And it feels good?’ It was odd, Merlin had grown up in a Village, surely she’d had some experience there?

‘Usually. Did you never explore such things, as a child?’ He had, with the girls down in the village and the stable-boy that his Mother had fired the moment she found out. Merlin paused once again, probably aware that this wasn’t exactly a conversation two people would have. Especially not between a man and woman.

‘I had a friend, Will, but we never… I dressed as a boy, even then. Explorations were just awkward touching.’ Gwaine climbed out of the water, noted the way that Merlin looked anywhere but at him. He dried quickly, reached for some breeches and pulled them on. He’d probably regret the lack of smallclothes later.

Merlin moved past him, reaching for the hem of her tunic before freezing.

‘Sorry, can I…’

‘Merls, no judgement here. I’ll keep my eyes firmly averted.’ That was a lie, the moment the tunic was gone, he did have the temptation to turn. He did briefly, looking at the skin on her back and the faint lines where the bandages had sat. Too tight, he didn’t like it one bit. He’d cut them free from her skin with such hurry he had worried he’d nick her, but there hadn't been time to think of that then.

The scars were what intrigued him. Most of them faint, white lines that showed a story that he hated to picture. When her hands went to the laces on her breeches, he did turn around, focused on the fire.

Waiting until she had settled, he moved to his bag and pulled out a brush. Most of the Knights teased his obsession with his hair, but he was the one that looked good.

‘So, the Magic.’ He began, looking across to her. Merlin’s eyes flicked open lazily, almost like a cat dozing in the sun. The water covered her body completely, hair soaking slowly as she slipped further under.

‘What about it?’

‘When did you learn?’ She disappeared for a moment, underneath the surface before emerging, water-droplets hanging from her lashes in the most adorable fashion. Honestly, it should be a crime to look that attractive.

‘I didn’t. I was born with Magic, like Morgana. Making me a Witch.’ She didn’t look like the stereotypical Witch, although he supposed that was the point. Not attracting attention, especially when living in Camelot.

‘How strong are you?’ A pause, a brief flash of something that implied she was deciding on how much of the truth to tell.

‘There’s a prophecy. With me involved. And Arthur, being the Once and Future King.’ Gwaine had grown up in a land where Magic was very much allowed, a practiced thing. Which meant he knew where this was going, letting the name fall out.

‘Emrys.’ She looked surprised, then slightly fearful.

‘That’s my Druidic name.’ Emrys. The most powerful Warlock to walk the earth, yet this was a girl. Of course, nobody could ever believe that such a powerful creature would be born a girl. Yet here Merlin sat, or more accurately slumped, staring at him and waiting for judgement.

‘Sounds like our adventures suddenly got a lot more exciting.’ He grinned mischievously, was rewarded with the brightest laugh he’d ever heard.

Before he could think to ask anything else, there was a knock at the door. Water splashed as Merlin sat up sharply, hands clutching at the edge of the bath and staring at him in fear. He glanced from her, to the door he had locked, then back again.

‘Stay still.’ He unlocked the door, poked his head around to find Lancelot standing in the doorway.

‘Lance.’ He greeted, using his body to block the room from sight.

‘I thought I should let you know that I’ve got the King to his bed, he’s quite drunk. I think we’ll be staying here tomorrow.’ Gwaine nodded sincerely, trying not to look too pleased by the fact. Lancelot tipped his head to bid goodnight, turning around and strolling back down the corridor.

‘Oh, and Gwaine?’ The Knight looked to the noblest of the Round Table men, perhaps Leon aside, who was smiling gently.

‘Say goodnight to Merlin for me.’

When he returned to the room, Merlin was wrapped in one of the towels Gwaine had used to dry his hair. She looked so dainty in it, all long limbs and awkward grace, something that he shouldn’t find so attractive. His eyes caught on the scar that peeked out from the top of the towel, a nasty looking burn-mark that seemed to have faded.

‘It was from Nimueh. The High Priestess.’ He moved towards her without really thinking, studying the mark and reaching out.

‘May I?’ Her eyes were on his, nervous as she nodded, and he ran his forefinger over it. Slightly raised skin, it must have hurt.

‘Will you tell me the story?’ He let his hand dropped, reached for one of his shirts and offered it out to her. Gwaine turned, just as she began the tale of offering her life in exchange for Arthur’s. When he turned back, she was towelling her hair dry, just the shirt hanging from her frame.

He gestured for her to take a seat, grabbing the hairbrush and eyeing up the wild, tangled mane that he was determined to tame.

By the time they got to the part of Merlin killing the Witch-Bitch with lightning, Gwaine had just about managed to untangle the strands. Once he stepped back, pleased with his work, Merlin’s eyes turned golden again, just to dry off her hair. It looked silky smooth, dark and thick, and he wondered if he’d ever be able to braid it. Maybe she’d teach him.

‘You’re staring again.’ She teased, standing up and facing him. Before Gwaine could think about the fact that this was Merlin, the same Merlin he hadn't quite figured out how to express his emotions to, his mouth was running off without permission from his mind.

‘Why wouldn’t I stare at you, Merls? You’re stunning.’ The compliment took her by surprise, he could tell.

The next action was a surprise, but then again, Merlin had a habit of shocking him. A fierce look of determination crossed her face, before her blue eyes looking to his lips, and she was moving closer. He didn’t need another invitation, reached out to cradle her jawline, to guide her as she pressed her lips against his.

**

Merlin wasn’t sure what she was craving, perhaps for Gwaine to stop being such a gentleman? She bit at his lower lip, more to tell him that she was frustrated with him being gentle, but it had a surprising affect. He laughed into her mouth, tongue brushing over her lips before demanding entrance, hands moving around to her back and pulling her into his frame. Compared to her, Gwaine was a wall of muscle.

Shirtless, as well. It proved to be useful, her hands running up his body, through the dusting of hairs across his chest and around his neck, hooking her arms there to give herself leverage. Gwaine got with the idea, reached for her thighs and _lifted_.

She might have made a sound, probably a confused squeak, followed by a gasp when she remembered that she wasn’t wearing anything under the shirt. From the sound of it, Gwaine had just remembered such a thing, shoving her back into the wall and pressing his hips up to hers, while her legs wrapped around his hips. He was strong, one hand snatching both of her arms and pinning her wrists together above her head, the other hand straying to her waist.

Never before had Merlin felt so happy to be trapped. Gwaine’s lips left hers, moved down to her neck and bit down sharp enough for her to tilt into it, to feel the pain flare all the way down to the base of her stomach.

‘Gods, _Gwaine_.’ She arched up, finally had her hands back and able to tangle into his hair as his hands slipped under the hem of the shirt she was wearing.

‘Again.’ He muttered, before going back to sucking a mark onto the base of her neck. She did as told, moaned his name once again and then laughed when he span them around. They moved back to the bed, the air whooshing around her as she was dropped back. Luckily, the mattress was far better than any she’d ever slept on, caught her and even let her bounce back slightly, before she scrambled back and spread her legs to accommodate the man still standing up.

It was then that she remembered the fact she wasn’t wearing smallclothes, shut her legs so quickly that her knees knocked together. Gwaine was the one laughing now, pounced down on top of her and let his fingers move to her knees, guiding them back apart.

‘Only you, Merls.’ He muttered, nipping at her jawline. She rolled her eyes, tugging at his hair until he obeyed, head coming back up from his path along her neck so she could study him. His eyes were dark, mostly focused on her own, although he occasionally looked to her lips.

‘I think I’d like a demonstration on the earlier ideas.’ She wasn’t sure where the confidence had come from, but she went with it. His eyes widened, before he grinned wickedly, shuffled down between her knees and guided her to drag them up. It was such a vulnerable position, especially when he finally lowered his head, Merlin screwing her eyes shut and trying very hard not to blush.

‘Eyes on me.’ It was something about the tone that caused her to do as she was told, looking down to where Gwaine was now positioned. He didn’t take his eyes from hers, not even when his tongue snaked out to press against her.

It felt odd. Not unpleasant, certainly not unwelcome, but not quite pleasurable either. She slowly nodded, decided that she was willing for him to continue, and Gwaine took that as all the encouragement he needed.

She quickly changed her mind about it not feeling pleasurable. Especially when he hooked a leg over her shoulder, burying his face between her thighs and slurping in the most obscene way. She cried out, torn between the pressure he was applying with his thumb, or the tongue currently working at her entrance.

‘Fuck, oh Gods, _more_!’ She dared to wrap a hand into his hair, clutching tightly as she pushed her hips up invitingly. He chuckled, the vibration travelling through her and making the most delicious pressure in her stomach. His tongue continued to move, before a finger was joining, sliding in easily. Merlin didn’t have the chance to do much more than gasp before a second joined it, Gwaine’s attention turning to where his thumb had previously been working.

His eyes were back on her, dark and dangerous and altogether too proud of what was happening. When his lips sealed around the bundle of nerves that she had only once dared to rub at, fingers crooking inside of her and his tongue apply just enough pressure as he sucked at her, Merlin forgot everything she’d ever said about this not making sense.

**

Gwaine grinned as her eyes rolled back, the golden in them more pronounced than he’d ever seen it. Working her through it was easy, his fingers continuing to move even as she clenched around him, tight and hot and _shit_ he couldn’t wait to sink into her. If that was what she wanted, he cautioned, moving up her body and tracking his wet lips over her stomach, taking the shirt up as he went.

When he reached her chest, he decided to spend a little time exploring. Watched as she came down from the high of her climax, rubbing and pinching and sucking marks into the skin that only he’d ever get to see.

‘C’mere, idiot.’ She snapped, tugging until she could press a kiss to his lips. Her tongue was quick to clean his lips, chasing the taste like she couldn’t get enough of it. It was definitely the filthiest kiss he’d ever had, and that was saying something.

Hands travelled to his breeches, a brief flash of confusion following as Merlin paused.

‘Wait, do you want me to…’ Oh bless her, Gwaine thought, staring at those wide eyes that he was pretty sure she didn’t know were golden.

‘Sweetheart, as much as I love your mouth, I don’t think I’d last.’ That had her giggling, before Gwaine sat back and stripped off his breeches. He almost fell trying to get out of them so fast, eventually managed to kick them off (and hopefully not in the direction of the fire), turning back to his Witch and halting.

Merlin had lost the shirt, was propped up on the pillow and making no attempt to hide where her eyes were focused. He waited, even if his cock was throbbing and he desperately wanted to join her, until she leisurely let her eyes wander back up. When they reached his, she let her knees fall apart again, this time uncaring of how exposed she was.

He returned to the bed, let his weight hover over her, as he propped himself up on one forearm. The kiss was nothing but sweet, hot air mingling between them as he slowly guided himself between her thighs.

‘Okay?’ He questioned, wondering when his throat had got so dry. Probably right around the time that Merlin had licked his face clean, he concluded.

‘Perfectly.’ She promised, hands reaching for his hips and encouraging him to sink in. He did just that, groaned as the hot, wet heat wrapped around him. She was far tighter than he’d expected, so when Merlin sucked in air, he halted immediately.

‘Want me to stop?’ Her lip was trapped between her teeth, chewing gently as if to distract from the ache between her thighs, and he went to withdraw.

‘No, it’s okay. More.’ When he finally bottomed out, he took the moment to capture her expression. Parted lips, swollen and bitten from earlier, with cheeks the colour of his cape. Eyes that were a mixture of sun and sky, dark hair sticking in all directions but mostly spread out on his pillow, something he hoped to see for the rest of his life.

‘I think… I think you can move.’ He did just that, drew back slowly until just the tip was inside, before pushing in again. That had a better reaction, had Merlin gasping and clutching at his shoulders.

‘Oh, oh do that again.’ He laughed, kissed her on the nose and watched as she screwed it up in annoyance, her hands sliding down to grip his arse.

‘Again.’

‘Bossy.’ He teased, then regretted it when she clenched around him.

‘Moving.’ He quickly assured, liking the smirk that graced his Witch’s face. He slowly started a rhythm, one that had him driving deep into her, while allowing him to watch her face as she was spread open around him.

‘Want it faster.’ She pleaded, and Gwaine gripped the back of her knee, pulling it up and then over his shoulder. He slipped out, raised himself to his knees and kept her leg stretched over his torso. When he pressed back in, he waited for her to open her eyes before slamming in.

That was the reaction he had been looking for, her mouth dropping open and her back arching up, chest catching the firelight in the most exquisite way. His hands moved down to her waist, gripping tightly as he picked up his pace, driving her down into the mattress hard enough for the bed to move.

Merlin’s little whimpers and whines got louder, until she was moaning so prettily. He dropped down to kiss her, fully intending to swallow down the sounds so that nobody heard, not thinking of the fact he bent her nearly in half to do so.

‘Gwaine!’ It was near-screamed, and he swore as she tightened around him, toes curling into the sheets and nails biting against his back as she finished. He didn’t have much hope after that, chasing into warmth that milked his orgasm from him, spilling into her with faltering thrusts.

‘Fucking hell.’ He grunted, dropping down onto her. Her leg went with him, settling back around his hips and keeping him inside as she rolled her hips through the pleasure.

‘I think I see the appeal.’ Merlin muttered, kissing the top of his head as he breathed out a laugh.

‘Glad I could be of service.’

**

When they met for dinner the next evening, Arthur looked awful. He rose his head as Gwaine walked in, Merlin stumbling in briefly after. The Tavern wasn’t that busy, but even so, it was pleasant enough to sit in the low chatter.

‘We’ll head back to Camelot tomorrow.’ The King finally stated, rubbing his forehead.

‘Are we all okay with that?’ Leon inquired, looking in Gwaine’s direction. The Knight paused, cocking his head and wondering what the Lead Knight was hinting at.

‘We heard you and some very happy person in your bed last night.’ Elyan teased. Gwaine had already spoken to Merlin about this, about their relationship. And that was what it was, he wasn’t letting her go any time soon. Even if she was currently back to looking like the King’s manservant, not quite the lover she’d been in their bed.

‘And this morning.’ Arthur added, while Lancelot looked like he could do with another drink. Obviously, he had already figured out who it had been, while Merlin sniggered.

‘Let’s just say Merlin’s not a virgin anymore.’ Gwaine said while wiggling his eyebrows, watched as each of the Knights made a varying sound on shock. All apart from Lancelot, who Gwaine suspected might be closer to the truth than he first thought.

‘As long as I don’t have to hear it,’ Lancelot began, while Merlin ducked her head in embarrassment, ‘then I’m happy for you.’ Gwaine took it as acceptance, reached for Merlin’s hand and linked their fingers together under the table.

‘Don’t worry, the only person that has to listen when we get back to Camelot is the unfortunate Knight that shares a wall with my bedroom.’ For a moment, they all laughed, before Leon went very pale.

‘Oh come on!’


	3. Life In Camelot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The follow-up from Merlin and Gwaine's night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning for incorrect pronoun use! :)

Merlin made her way through Camelot, hummed a tune to herself as she went. On her hip sat Arthur’s laundry basket, filled with the stinky socks he kept throwing at her whenever he could. She’d smuggled in one of Gwaine’s shirts as well, considering it was one that she’d worn the day before.

As usual, the people of Camelot were more than happy to smile at her. Waves, friendly faces to stop and talk to on her path, including the Guards on the current shift. She remembered to ask Sir Aldrin how his wife was, and whether the baby was being any hassle, before finally reaching the washing station. Big tubs, filled with the hottest waters from the kitchens, and Merlin halted when she found Sefa in the room.

‘You’re washing Morgana’s gowns?’ Merlin questioned, dropping the laundry basket and wondering if the girl would notice that Gwaine’s shirt was mixed in with Arthur’s clothes. The girl was a friend, to both her and the Ladies of Camelot, but she still couldn’t trust her completely.

‘Would you like me to do Arthur’s clothes?’ Sefa inquired after nodding, standing up and reaching for the basket.

It was a complete accident, one second Sefa was trying to step forward, the next she was falling. Merlin’s Magic wanted to assist her, but she wasn’t going to reveal herself for something so stupid, and fell back as she tried to catch the younger girl. They fell awkwardly into the tub, splashing into the hot, soapy water.

Sefa was up first, apologising as she tried to ring out her clothes, while Merlin hauled herself out of the tub. The water was luckily fresh, so she wouldn’t have to worry about her clothing smelling bad.

‘Merlin, I’m so sorry, I didn’t…’ Sefa halted, so Merlin looked up to ask her what was wrong. Only her eyes weren’t on Merlin’s, instead staring at her chest.

Her chest, which she hadn't bound that morning, because she’d been running late.

‘Sefa… I can explain.’ The girl flicked her eyes up, then back, before a shaky smile crossed her face.

‘Should we sit down?’

**

‘Where’s my idiotic manservant?’ Arthur snapped, running a hand through his sweaty hair while Gwaine chewed on an apple. He wasn’t bothering to train, the other Knights were doing enough of that by themselves.

‘Gwaine?’ Leon questioned, the Knight looking around. Ah, right, he was Merlin’s new watcher considering their growing relationship. They’d never spoken about it to the group, not since the night where Gwaine found out her secret, but they evidently knew they were still seeing each other. Gwaine shrugged, chewing loudly on a bite.

‘No clue. Last I saw, they were heading to do the Princess’s laundry.’ That earned a couple of chuckles, of people judging how much the clothes had to smell. Gwaine eventually stood, discarded the apple core and reached for a sword.

‘How’s it going with him?’ Elyan asked, gesturing for Gwaine to come and spar. He noted that the King was paying attention, and that couldn’t be a good thing.

Arthur was protective over Merlin. Would it be the same, if the King knew the truth about her? He hoped so, the Princess wasn’t so stupid, was he?

‘It’s going… good. Better than I thought it would. They put up with me pretty well.’ Gwaine joked the last part, lunged for Elyan’s stance and tried to disarm him. The blows went back and forth, bickering that ended when he managed to nick the man’s wrist.

It was Lancelot that pulled him aside at the end of training, a small smile on his face.

‘I’ve never seen Merlin so happy before.’ If they were talking about the Magic they both knew about, but neither had admitted to knowing, then Gwaine was alright with it. Sir Lancelot would keep Merlin safe when Gwaine couldn’t, and Goddess knew that she was a danger-magnet.

‘I must be that good in bed.’ Gwaine joked, returning his sword and ignoring the way Lancelot rolled his eyes.

‘I’m glad they’ve got you.’ Lancelot finished, walking towards the armoury.

It was only once he was out of sight that Gwaine noticed the pronoun in the sentence.

**

‘Evening, Arthur.’ Merlin greeted, kicking open the King’s door with his dinner in her hand. The King grumbled something about knocking, which Merlin ignored, and the manservant made her way across to place down the dinner. While she was there, she leant over to look at the papers scattered.

‘You know it’s treason to read the King’s private affairs.’ Arthur remarked, reaching for the plate and dragging it towards him. Merlin hummed nonchalantly, studying the papers and picking one up to read.

‘I write most of them.’ She pointed out, halting when she spotted the newest legislation.

‘You’re allowing women control over their own properties.’ She needed to be careful, held the emotion out of her tone as she spoke. Arthur looked up from a mouthful of pheasant, shrugged.

‘Lady Morgana suggested such a thing. It seems only fair, if I am to let my sister live a life of solitude, I should allow the same to the others.’ Merlin swallowed down her panic, her secret remained well-kept. Nobody knew, apart from Sefa and Gwaine. Plus Gaius, who had been unimpressed to learn that Merlin’s secret was slipping out.

‘Do you agree?’ Arthur’s question came out of the blue, and Merlin had to swallow her pride and keep herself in check. She couldn’t allow herself to make this personal.

‘I think it a wise move, to keep Morgana safe.’

It didn’t matter what she thought. All she was to Arthur was his manservant.

**

‘Mm, evening love.’ Gwaine drawled, wrapping arms around his lover and smiling when she relaxed back into him. It was gentle, the way her neck tipped to the side to let him kiss along it, reaching for the tie on her neckerchief and revealing the smooth skin beneath.

‘Un-spell yourself, my sweet Witch.’ She did as told, the glamour dropping and her hair falling down to mid-back, the strings on the binder she had hurriedly put on at lunch loosening.

‘What would you have me in, Sir Knight?’ Merlin questioned, spinning in his arms and tilting her chin to meet his expression. One thing that never failed to make him stare at her in awe, the resilience she showed everyday with him. The way she could continue to be so strong.

‘A dress, fair maiden.’ He joined in the teasing, in the sweet words as he watched her eyes turn golden. The clothes shifted to a gown of purple, a lavender shade that suited the blue eyes that returned once her Magic was gone. It was a good thing this room was silenced, so that nobody could hear what was going on, because he intended on showing her just how stunning she looked in that dress.

‘My Merlin.’ He murmured, tracing her delicate cheekbones and then moving down to the dress. He was just about to open it up, to begin to undress the pale skin and endless beauty when the moment was shattered by the door being thrown open.

Never had he been so terrified to see the King of Camelot and the Knights he considered brothers in his doorway.


	4. My Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion to the extra chapters!

Merlin watched as the King’s hand drifted to his sword, right at the time that Gwaine shoved her behind him and tensed up in preparation of the fight that was going to come.

‘How dare you… take advantage of Merlin like that!’ Arthur roared, the Knights all looking equally as angry, before the door opened further and Lancelot pushed through.

‘Arthur…’ He tried, while Gwaine reached for his own sword.

‘You think I’d hurt Merlin?!’ Gwaine growled back, while Merlin realised that the King hadn't recognised him. It wasn’t a big shock, especially considering the dress and the long hair, but Merlin still stumbled as Gwaine got ready to fight the King.

‘Stop it! Both of you, stop!’ Merlin shouted, knowing her voice would betray her. It had naturally gone deeper, her Magic trying to protect the secret despite her current looks, and Arthur’s sword dropped to the floor before he could school his shock.

‘ _Merlin_?!’

‘You lay a hand on her…’ Gwaine’s bitten out threat was cut off by Merlin stepping out from behind him, looking up to the King she’d sworn to serve.

‘Arthur, it’s me.’ The King had frozen, just like the Knights had. Lancelot shoved his way through the group, and Merlin didn’t have time to wonder why the Knight knew that secret, was just thankful he was on Merlin’s side.

‘How about we give the two of you a moment, and you come up to Arthur’s Chambers? I’ll have Lady Morgana come to reverse the spell.’ Spell? Merlin went to point out that she changed her own hair, before realising that Lancelot was giving her the chance to keep one of her secrets.

But would Morgana cover for her, when she’d been lying to the Lady all this time?

‘Thank you, Lance.’

**

Merlin adjusted her tunic, watched as Lady Morgana gave her a reassuring smile, before walking away from the door. Gwaine was by her side, hand still on his sword. They hadn't spoken much, not since the Knights left the room.

‘Ready?’ Gwaine questioned, slipping his hand into hers. She smiled, let him push the door open.

Arthur was sat at his desk, chin resting on his hand while his eyes stayed focused on the table. Leon was at the window, a frown on his face while his eyes darted across to the two of them. Elyan studied both of them without a word, while Percival smiled warmly.

Lancelot stood up, straightening his back and then glancing to Gwaine.

‘Whenever you’re ready, Merlin.’ Lancelot softly stated, gesturing to the chair. Merlin released Gwaine’s hand to walk across, taking a seat and then looking to the King. He didn’t meet her gaze, remained staring at the table while he waited for Merlin to say something.

‘I grew up dressing in boys’ clothes, so I could play with Will in the Village. Nobody would have ever wanted a bastard as a wife, so Mum suggested the change. But when I came to Camelot… it wasn’t safe for a woman to travel alone, so I cut my hair short and dressed like… this. After a while, it just became easier, plus you’d never have let me stay if I was… me.’ When Arthur didn’t speak out against the statement, it just secured the bile in her stomach.

‘I wanted to be your friend, Arthur. And I know you didn’t view women very highly, apart from Gwen and Morgana, so… I couldn’t tell you. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to lie to you…’

‘Like you lied about not having Magic?’ Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth, mind went blank while two Knights both looked to the King in shock.

‘I told you I had Magic. Confessed to it in front of the Court. But… I never wanted you to choose, between the law, or… our friendship.’ The silence fell between them, until Arthur drew himself up out of the chair. He stepped around to her, ignored the way Gwaine tensed up.

‘Any other secrets?’ He was angry. She could see it in his eyes, the way the betrayal had stabbed him deeply, but he wasn’t running.

‘I’m a Dragonlord. Lady. Sorry, I… I’m Balinor’s daughter.’ Arthur swallowed, ran a hand through his hair and then sat down on the edge of the desk.

‘I’ll have to remove you from your position.’ She’d expected that, but it still hit her like a blow to the stomach, her eyes watering as she fought to control it.

‘You’ll be reinstated as my advisor, and, once the laws on Magic begin to be repealed, I’ll have you as Court Sorcerer. Sorceress. It was going to be Morgana’s position, but she’s informed me that you would be better suited.’ She must have made a sound, a gasp, or a cry, because a hand was coming to settle on her shoulder and she felt the tears trailing down her cheeks.

‘Why… I betrayed your trust, I hurt you!’ Arthur looked at her, properly looked at her, and Merlin remembered something Kilgharrah had said, about one half never being able to hate the other.

‘And I didn’t see what was right in front of me. I’ve made fun of your… gender, since I first met you. If I’d known…’

‘You can’t base your opinion of women off of me! I’m hardly a good example…’

‘Not true.’ Gwaine grumbled.

‘But you’ll show me what women can be. Brave, courageous, and by my side when your… gift was illegal in this Kingdom.’ It wasn’t forgiveness, it was acceptance.

‘I’ll make it up to you. Show you I’m still your friend.’ Merlin said, rushed, and Arthur’s smile was genuine.

‘You’re still Merlin.’

‘Always will be, prat.’

**

Merlin grumbled, although she did allow the Sefa to tighten the strings of the gown slightly.

‘It’s just for the Court appearance. They want to see you as Court Sorcerer, not the rag-tag advisor that calls the King names.’ That was true. She reluctantly abandoned the neckerchief, watched as it was replaced by Gwaine’s necklace. That was better, the reminder of her Knight was enough to settle her racing heart.

Camelot had taken to the news with mixed reactions. Merlin’s loyalties didn’t change, and so most of the people she knew respected her identity still. Some of the nobles that knew who she was were less fond, called her names that had the Knights of the Round Table grimacing and threatening them to duels.

Arthur stepped in after Sir Leon bested a noble from Escetir, demanded the nobles treat Merlin like any woman of Court.

‘I still can’t believe Arthur’s making me wear this. He’s got to be laughing.’ She’d watched his face when he handed it across, the smirk was everything she needed to know. Her wardrobe was still mostly blue and red tunics, neckerchiefs and her jacket.

Now this stupid dress, which she wasn’t sure if she liked or not. Gwaine would tell her she looked stunning, Lancelot would nudge her and be supportive like always.

A knock at the door sounded, Sefa opening it and revealing Percival.

‘Hey, Percy.’ She cheerfully remarked, the Knight grinning.

‘Hey Merls, you’re looking… pretty.’ The word was hesitant, and she just laughed, coming to his side and grinning up.

‘Want to walk me to the Court?’ This was it, the moment she became Court Sorceress. The Albion Kilgharrah had mentioned, it might actually be possible.

‘I’d be honoured, my Lady.’


End file.
